Hey there techno serfs, serfettes and serfx, I bet your tired of looking like a fucking nerd on wheels. I’ve carefully curated a random list of skorts, shorts and jorts to upgrade your wardrobe. Just kidding, its all skorts.
Vibe check: I am on my eternal grind to elevate our collective souls through powerful content medicine and the tech lords have provided me with an amazing opportunity for manifesting abundance: Amazon Affiliate links. If something here resonates with you or you feel a calling to honor the light inside yourself by making a small investment in your wardrobe, and you make a purchase through one of the links below, I will make a small pittance from Amazon at no extra cost to your or your sacred financial aura.
The 7 Best Skirts for Roller Skating
Anyways, I thought maybe they stopped making skorts after 9/11, so when Lord Amazon suggested this 80s 90s Tennis Golf Skirts with Pockets monstrosity I almost died. I got a small, which is the smallest size they offer, but it runs a little big. Sometimes I’ll fold the waist band over to shorten it up a bit if I’m feeling like a real demimondaine. It has pockets on the shorts for your phone, because its very important that people have access to you at all times. Its also only like, $10 and comes in two different pump up the jam style patterns so obviously I’ll have to get the other pattern as well eventually.

Once I learned skorts were back in, they had just rebranded themselves as “golf skirts” and “tennis skirts” I had to have more. The next skort I got was the Sunavalix Womens Half Pleated Tennis Skirt with Pockets, I was a little bit nervous because I thought it looked kind of weird since only the back was pleated, and the pleated part was sheer while the rest was the same bathing suit kind of nylon material. But I can’t actually see behind me so what do I care what my ass looks like. Its a fucking skort. This one has a cool zipper pocket on the back so you can skate or tennis around with your credit card or your driver license, that way people can ID your body or even steal your money if you get hit by a car or something while playing golf.
Unfortunately for you, my vibrations were so high in this picture that its honestly a poor representation of this skirt. Click the link, the images on Amazon are better.

Finally, my favorite is the Womens Tennis Skirt with Pockets Shorts Crossover High Waisted Athletic Skorts Skirts for Golf Running Workout. I’m a sucker for a good crossover waist. All the benefits of a high waist with the sexy libertine dip in the front. No pictures, for this one, just click the link and buy it.
I randomly chose the number 7 for this list but here some more skorts that I have not bought but look neat
- This Santiny skort comes in awesome prints like leopard and green
- Vosery really knocked this one out of the park, it is tiger print, and not just like the stripes of a tiger is has TIGER FACES printed all over the fabric, fierce
- If your looking for a more rugged skort MIVEI makes a dope looking pair of quick dry cargo skorts that come in grey on black camo and a bunch of other colors
- Rirnuam has a pretty sick selection of skorts ranging from comic book prints, real plants style camo, mermaid, mushrooms and more
- In addition to having a cool name, Sjaz is coming in hot with some of my favorite prints I’ve found so far with cool flavors like flamingo golf cart, psychedelic shroom skulls, gay and Mexican flag
