Are you tired of looking like an NPC devoid of character and personality? Do you want a fashion upgrade that whispers instead of SCREAMS “My favorite show’s script writers were replaced by AI and I didn’t even notice?”
Read on for hip, edgy fashion suggestions that will make your coworkers think, “Whoa, I bet that guy listen to Green Day.”
Also, I’m legally obligated to inform you that if you buy anything from these links, I’ll make some money AND think you’re a fucking loser.
Edginess Comes from the Chest
You don’t know why you feel sad sometimes, you’ve seen every episode of the Great British Baking show and even let yourself indulge in fantasy smut about dragons from time to time. But something still feels wrong, and rather than examine your life to see if maybe, just maybe, its because you have rejected all things authentic and real in favor of conformity and surface level friendships, you can just wear this awesome shirt and joke about how you’re dead inside because of doom scrolling or whatever. But wait, you might be thinking, what if I wanted to virtue signal so I can pretend to care about the rise of white christian nationalism? Then boy have I got the shirt for you! This one has a rainbow on it!
But maybe you want something more hardcore, less femme in the woods energy, try this shirt featuring cool knuckle tats or this one with flying saucers. Or maybe you’re a cool mom.
It also comes from the butt
So cover your tush up with these cool baggy jeans that have been ripped to shit. No longer do you have to be poor or work doing hard labor to sport fancy holes. We can be grateful the fashion lords soled that one for us years ago. Here are some skinny ones too.
Listen or read to these book to be cooler
No class consciousness? No problem! Get a crash course in all the way big tech is fucking you in TECHNOFEUDALISM! If you thought Capitalism was going to be replaced by something better and less cruel HAHA you fucking dope, you absolute ignoramus. Boy were you wrong, you dumb serf.
Whoa, you might be thinking, I do NOT want to actually have to THINK about the injustices in the world. That feels icky and makes me sad. You’re right, I’m sorry, you took a job in engineering so you wouldn’t have to be bothered with the lowly affairs of the working class. In that case, try these sci-fi classics!
- Another Now imagines a world where there is no people, no heaven, no hell, just people livin for today.
- Or the Three Body Problem that is about video games and aliens!
- American Cosmic is about a made up country called “America” that develops new cargo cult style religions because of aliens
Stay tuned for more book reviews!